Madonna - Hard Candy

How can I review this album? It's a tough question, considering (some of) my friends read this from time to time and I'm therefore subject to a certain amount of ridicule for admitting that anything about a Madonna album would be redeeming. I'll probably get called a gravedigger for this. Rumours will abound that I spend my work hours looking up grannywhores.com. A year and a half ago I would have probably just called Hard Candy mindless pop-loving drivel (while secretly taking the occasional song for a guilty lash) but times have changed. Everyone now knows I love garbage, and that's pretty much what the Madonna album is. And to be honest, I expected more.

The lineup sounds good enough. Take the formulaic pop grandmother out of the equation and you have the 2006 dream team of Justin Timberlake, Timbaland and Danjahandz grouped with Pharrell representing the Neptunes on his lonesome. That in itself is a good enough reason for any pop fan to give the album a spin. Just don't look at the album cover while you do it. Timberlake/Timbaland/Danja put in an unusually subdued effort. Where Nelly Furtado's Loose and JT's own Futuresex/Lovesounds were fantastic (dare I say it, trendsetting) efforts, the four songs they contribute to Matron Madge's album sound closer to the awfully lazy Shock Value. Hopefully they're saving their best for Keri Hilson's album (what a minx! Her in that Love In The Club video actually shuts me up for 4 minutes). While the songs may sound uninspired, the only one without any redeeming qualities is 4 Minutes. Therefore Pharrell is left to carry the record, as Madonna is obviously a pointless entity. Pharrell sounds as good as he has at any stage this year by trading in the increasingly redundant 2005-2007 Neptunes sound for disco breaks, Senorita-style spanish guitar and the irresistible allure of his earlier, pop-loving funk. Heartbeat seems inspired by Timbaland's own techno-sampling sound, which in itself was probably based on the Neptunes' electronic funk.

I haven't said much about Madonna for a reason. She neither adds nor detracts anything from the record. Her presence is absolutely pointless. The lyrics are toss, but we knew they would be because it's Madonna and it's a pop record. Time is a cruel thing for female artists. Madonna is ridiculed for continuing to perform and tour while the Eagles, another rubbish band in their 60's, are more 'mature' for doing so. However, that doesn't mean that the templates and beats for this album wouldn't better serve a younger, better singer. Although I realise it's terribly shallow to point it out, nobody wants to hear a 50 year old woman talk about sex, parties and best friends. She's failed to pass on the torch where other female artists getting long in the tooth long ago traded in their pop credentials (and popularity) for more mature sounds. Younger artists are doing much more with the 80's revival sound - Madonna would do well to find new sounds and influences and to stop chasing her old successes with diminishing results.

That probably won't happen though.

Cut Copy “In Ghost Colours” Review

It can’t be long before grunge music is back in fashion, judging by the plethora of post-punk revivalists flooding the market at the moment. Sydney band Cut Copy are pioneers of the revivalist movement, predating the exploding Australian electro scene with 2004’s Bright Like Neon Love. The soft, effortless album echoed New Order and Daft Punk, weaving together post-punk and modern dance in a way that has been endlessly replicated since. As the international standard bearers for Australian electro-rock, In Ghost Colours has a lot to live up to and kicks off by immediately setting itself apart from their debut from the first track. More vibrant and urgent than ’Future’ which was intoxicating in its laid back tone, ’Feel the Love’ sets the tone for the entire record with cheeky house influenced synthesizers and filtered vocals. The layering in the song is a common
theme throughout the album and shows just how much effort front man Dan Whitford has put into crafting a coherent and immersive record. In Ghost Colours has a tendency to bleed from one track to the next if you don’t pay attention – the mood is merely so soothing, and the record so consistent, that only by focusing was I able to pick out what I considered to be the better songs. Far Away and Nothing Lost, Nothing Found blur the line between Cut Copy’s rock and house influences with the signature keyboard synthesizers and endlessly layered vocal samples combining with thick basslines perfectly. It isn’t, however, a perfect album. First single Lights & Music jumps the shark by being more annoying than 80’s kitsch and the one minute interludes blend the songs together too well, leaving no room to breathe. Regardless, In Ghost Colours is one of the best releases of the year and Cut Copy have proven they’re not yet another one-album indie band plaguing the world.

Is it In Ghost Colors in America? I despise Microsoft Office continuously reverting to U.S. English. It’s colours, you fucking automaton

Tomorrow I rant about Madonna and how she’s a crusty old demon sent to destroy Timbaland’s (already suspect, thanks Onerepublic) reputation

Really need to stop being lazy

So, Iron Man review (Cut Copy + Madonna + Roots coming THIS weekend. Honest.)

We've been seeing the 3rd (or 4th?) comic-book invasion of Hollywood for almost a decade now. There have been some great films, some middling and occasionally confusing films and more than a few clunkers. Iron Man presents something of a gamble on the part of Marvel Films and Paramount in that all the other comic book films thus far have focused on iconic characters of Marvel lore - non-comic fans and those of us who only read them as younger children recognise the likes of the X-Men, the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man fairly readily. It appears, however, that Iron Man is possibly the most interesting super-hero to have ever made the leap to film. The character of Tony Stark is a normal man turned hero, more similar to Batman than any of the aforementioned crowd draws. It's surprising, then, that Iron Man has managed to make such a sudden impact, earning (almost) $100'000'000 in its first weekend in the American and Canadian box office. And honestly, even though we all love and overrate superhero films, it's well deserved. The film plays itself off well and not at all as seriously as one might think. Gwyneth Paltrow clearly enjoys the almost-pointless role of Pepper Potts (best name for a character ever?) and pulls off an enjoyable, vapid performance. I half expected Jeff Bridges to ask Robert Downey Jr. if he knew who he was, only to assert that he was in fact The Dude. That might be my mental typecasting of Bridges but there was no real motivation for Obidiah Stane. And while it's the low point of the film it doesn't detract all that much from the whole. After all, this is an origin story. Robert Downey Jr. perfectly plays Tony Stark, the single-minded industrialist-turned-hero and successfully humanizes the role by bringing a lazy charm to his witty character. After seeing the film, you'll believe that nobody else could play Iron Man. The pacing is excellent and perfectly planned with only minor dry spots disrupting the flow. Along with the only half-serious acting comes the cheeky in-jokes that litter Marvel's films; the Stan Lee cameo, the reference (and foreboding) of S.H.I.E.L.D. and best of all Terrence Howard's very cheeky War Machine reference. Iron Man succeeds where Fantastic 4 failed in actually being fun to watch, and it could be the best superhero film since Spider-Man 2. Now it's only 1 year and 358 days until the next chapter. Can't wait.